Skinny Love
by Unicornsprinkles
Summary: 'Hideous. I'm so hideous. After all, the mirror never lies.' They say size doesn't matter, but to Bella it does. She hates her body and herself; but can a certain green eyed, Doc Marten wearing Adonis change that? *Drabble Fic*
1. Chapter 1

**Hi!**

 **Disclaimer: SM own all. No Beta, so apologies for any mistakes you will probably find.**

 **A/N: This story is going to deal with sensitive subjects to do with weight issues.**

* * *

 _Hideous_

 _I'm so hideous._

 _After all, the mirror never lies._

Bella stood in front of her mother's long mirror, staring at herself.

Turning to the side, she sucked in her stomach and let out a sad sigh of breath when she realised it was no use. Her belly would never be flat. She had tried diets and exercise and nothing seemed to work.

Oh, how she hated the way she looked.

She hated the bulge of her stomach, the wide curve of her hips; her slightly saggy breasts.

She hated the sharp tongue of her mom, and the cruelness of strangers; and the clothing stores that didn't stock her size.

Most of all, she just hated herself.

* * *

 **Thanks for reading and hope you enjoyed!**


	2. Chapter 2

Bella had just finished college, and now a teaching degree that she was immensely proud of.

However, it wasn't as easy as she thought it would be after she finally graduated. She was forced to leave her little, dingy apartment as she could no longer afford her rent, thus meaning she had to move in with her estranged mom.

 _"Oh Bella, don't eat that! Do you want to put on more weight? What boy will look at you?"_

 _"You spent all that money to teach snotty little brats? God what a waste, Why couldn't you have become a doctor?"_

A single tear traveled down her cheek, she wiped it away hastily and got ready for her work in **Mike's Bar** ; because no matter how many jobs she applied to in the field she had her degree in, she hadn't had any luck.

Avoiding the mirror near the door, she walked out the house and away from the reflection she hated.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you for the reviews, favs and follows!**

* * *

"Fatty can I have a drink." A dark haired man slurred, an obvious sign he already had, had too much.

"What would you like sir?" She asked, trying not to let his words get to her.

 _Stocks and stones, Bella._

It didn't work though, it never did. No matter how many times she told herself that.

She handed the rude man his drink of beer, and he was off, dancing into the crowd.

Any slither of thinking that she may have looked okay in the new spandex underwear she had purchased, evaporated, leaving nothing but a feeling of hurt and disgust at herself.

Little did she know, at the other side of the bar, a bronze haired man with shocking green eyes, found her beautiful.

Perfect even.


	4. Chapter 4

"Bella come out with us! Please!" Alice whined into the phone.

"Yeah Bella! Come out with us." She heard Rose yell in the background.

Bella was silent. She loved her two best friends, they really had helped her out of her shell in college.

It was petty and completely unfair, but she was envious of their model good looks and perfect bodies, so she avoided them sometimes. It wasn't rubbed In her face how ugly she was that way.

She despised herself even more for that. Alice and Rose loved her and would do anything for her.

"Okay."

"Okay! Great! We'll come round tomorrow for some shopping! We need to get you out of those baggy Jeans, girl!"

* * *

Reviews make me smile :D

Catch you later!


	5. Chapter 5

Bella had been ogling a dress. It was deep purple and gorgeous... But it would too tight and short on her. She already knew how bad she would look inside it.

 _You could never pull that off_ she told herself, plus it was one thing to embarrass herself; she didn't want to bring her friends into the mix.

"Oh Bella that colour would complement your skin tone so well! I definitely think you should pick that one." Rose gushed, encouraging her best friend to try on the dress she couldn't take her eyes off.

Bella walked over to the rail, checking the labels.

"I don't know, plus I can't seem to find my size."

"We'll give it a go anyway, sometimes I can't find my size and I go one down or one up and I'm pleasantly surprised."

"Trust me it won't fit." Bella argued.

"Just try it." Rose said in a tone that was useless. What Rose wanted, she got.

"Fineee," Bella drawled, showing her unwillingness to try on the item of clothing


	6. Chapter 6

"It fits."

Bella was shocked. The dress fit her really well, the parts of her that she didn't want to be seen was hidden; and made her large boobs - that she kept hid under baggy shirts - look amazing.

Rose just looked smug. "Told you. And in that dress? Girl, you look stunning."

Bella blushed at the compliment.

"So what have I missed? The sale downstairs was amah-zing - Oh Bella! I love it!" Alice clapped.

It was still a running joke that secretly, Alice was on speed because she had so much energy. An annoyance some of the time, but normally something Bella found enduring.

"You have to get it!"

She was going to buy this dress.

Bella smiled so wide, her cheeks hurt.

* * *

 **Thank you so much for the response to this story! I feel all warmy and fuzzy inside ;)**

 **Reviews are better than Edward (Okay might be a stretch lol)**


	7. Chapter 7

Bella hated eating out. Her mother always told her she ate too fast and of course too much.

"I'll have the cheeseburger with extra cheese and onion please," Alice said to the waiter.

"And I'll have the house special please." Rose smiled to the waiter as she gave her the menu.

"I'll have a glass of water please," Bella whispered as her stomach gurgled in protest.

"Bella! Not this again! At least have a salad?" Alice said.

Bella looked down, feeling stupid and embarrassed.

"Err... Okay I'll have the salad please."

The waiter smiled hesitantly and left the table.

"I had a big breakfast?" Bella chuckled with no trace of humor.

It was too late. The day was ruined. Because of her insecurities. Because of her.


	8. Chapter 8

"Hi daddy."

"Hi pumpkin' how are you? Any luck yet?"

"No, but I'm looking."

"That's my girl! No matter what happens know that I am so proud of you - Mark! I'm on the phone! Okay, okay I'm coming - sorry sweetheart gotta go. Love you."

"Bye dad, love you too."

Her father, Charlie was the chief of police in a little town called Forks where she had lived until she was eighteen.

She now lived in Seattle because she attended The College of Seattle, and with only a couple of schools in forks; Bella felt it best if she kept her options wide open. She missed her amazing dad, her baby brother Seth and her step-mom – mama S - though, and even the greenery and smallness of Forks.

When her parents divorced she chose to stay with her dad. Maybe that was why Renee hates her so much, her mother was a selfish, self centered woman whose ego took a bruising when five year old Bella wanted "to stay wif daddy."


	9. Chapter 9

It was a rare day when Bella and Renee spent time together, so Bella found it slightly awkward when Renee came into the living room.

"So I was talking to Judy and her daughter Layla has just lost all her baby weight on that new diet 'thin and fab.' And I mentioned that my daughter was really fat and badly overweight so she gave me a coupon code thing."

Bella could feel tears instantly sting her eyes, she glanced at Renee's face and saw the cruel look in her eye and the ugly smirk that graced her face; her mother wanted Bella to react this way. She wanted to make Bella cry.

"Don't start crying Bella, that won't make you skinny. I'm only trying to help." _Liar._

"Yeah... T-thanks," Bella whispered as she took the piece of paper that Renee pushed her way.

* * *

 **A/N: The diet thin and fab is not real and not the best original name lol.**

 **Renee is definitely a nasty piece of work though.**


	10. Chapter 10

Bella did something she never did.

Shaved her legs.

Her wardrobe considered of trousers and jeans, therefore she really only shaved when she could be bothered. Which meant around twice a year.

Alice would come to pick her up soon to play Bella Barbie, so she was primping as much as possible. As Alice would indeed shave her legs and Bella didn't know if her friendship would still be intact at the end of it.

"Bella!" Renee called, "Alice is here."

She quickly jumped out of the bath, before Alice came up the stairs and dragged her out naked.


	11. Chapter 11

The air was alight with excitement. Alice and Rose were happy that their beloved friend had agreed to come out with them and Bella was actually quite excited to see the outcome of her friends work.

"Okay you can look!" Rose grinned.

Bella couldn't believe it. To the outsider view, she didn't actually look much different. Alice and Rose had kept her face fairly natural, only using concealer because Bella's face was almost flawless, brown eye shadow with a hint of green to make her already big eyes look larger; a touch of blush and a nude lip completed the look.

But to Bella, she almost saw herself as beautiful. She nearly couldn't see everything wrong with herself, especially in the dress she bought.

Alice and Rose of course respectively looked absolutely stunning, both in short dresses and sky high heels.

Bella was almost certain she could get through the night in her - tiny in comparison - Wedge heels.


	12. Chapter 12

They took a taxi to the club. Bella did offer to drive as she didn't want to drink but her besties were having none of it.

 _"Bella you're going to let loose tonight if you like it or not." Alice had said._

"You okay there Rose?" Bella asked her friend whose eyes almost popped out her skull when she glanced at her phone.

"Emmet has had some beers with his friends and he's messaged me saying: can't wait for you to get home 'cause I'm going to be in between your legs all night long eating your pussy and a sandwhich."

"Ewwww." Both girls broke out in giggles.

"Don't know about the sandwich part but can't say I'm not excited, Em's tongue is wonderful." Rose said with a wistful sigh.

"Too much Information Rose! And how long does it take Alice to pee?"


	13. Chapter 13

Three shots and two vodka and diet cokes later, Bella was drunk.

"My little lightweight!" Alice teased good naturally.

"Shh Alice I'mm not druhunk!"

"Bella! That guy over there is looking at you!" Rose said.

"No he's not Rose, why would he look at me?"

"Because you're beautiful!"

"I know him! That's one of Jaspers workmates he's really sweet and lovely. His name is Edward."

Before Bella could stop her, Alice waved Edward over. Bella could see he was lean and tall, wearing slightly faded jeans, Doc Martens boots and a leather jacket thrown over a dark blue Tee.


	14. Chapter 14

"Hi Edward! This is Rose and Bella." Alice shouted over the music.

"Hi Rose. Hey... Bella."

The way her name curled on his lips made her cheeks flush. Rose and Alice slipped away quietly and Edwards eyes slowly slid down Bella's body like a caress.

"So Beautiful, want to dance?" He grinned crookedly, with one side of his mouth higher than the other.

"I can't dance," she replied nervously.

"Doesn't matter," he said as he took her hand and pulled her gently toward the dance floor.

"Wrap your arms around my neck and I'll take the lead, okay beautiful?"

Bella followed his instructions and even under the loud House music, they swayed. She flushed when she remembered that he had called her beautiful.

Twice.

* * *

 **Thank you so much for the response to this story :)**


	15. Chapter 15

"Tell me about yourself," Edward shouted in her ear so she could hear him.

"Not much to tell really. I work in a Mike's Bar - "

"I know."

"What?"

"I've seen you there a few times. Don't worry I'm not a stalker I promise, anyway please continue."

"Ummm I'm a bit drunk right now and I don't normally drink. I really want a puppy! But my mom said no, that's who I live with. You're really pretty and I love diet coke. Did I mention you're really pretty."

"You may have once or twice."

"Like really, really pretty. Too pretty to dance with me."

"Well, I think you're pretty too and I've seen every guy in here look at you tonight and I'm glad I got here before anyone else did."

Bella gulped at the husky tone in his voice. She didn't believe his words though, even if he did sound sincere. She couldn't stop her drunken ramblings and knew she'd regret it in the morning.


	16. Chapter 16

After three dances, Bella and Edward made their way to the bar, after he offered to buy her a drink. She reluctantly agreed to let him pay.

"You look a bit green, how about water? Or just a diet coke."

"Ummmm I'll have a – Oh God I think I'm going to be sick!"

 _Oh my head._

Bella woke up with a pounding headache, and a blur of images in her head of what had happened the night before. She was in Alice's bed with a sleeping Alice curled up next to her, snoring slightly.

Bella felt around for phone, hitting the jackpot when she found her iphone under the pillow.

Unknown number: Hey Bella, got your number off of Alice. Do you wanna grab dinner tomorrow? Make it up to me after you vomited on my shoes. Edward xx

Without the alcohol coursing through her veins she lost whatever confidence she had, and knew that she could never be good enough for him.

So she deleted the text and fell into a troubled sleep.


	17. Chapter 17

It had been two days.

Two days of wishing she didn't delete his number, after remembering their brief but fun time together in the club.

Two days of dodging her friends calls, including Jasper – Alice's boyfriend – and Emmet.

Two days of double shifts.

 _Oh no._

There he was! Laughing with a beautiful... Skinny blonde woman. Even though she was the one to ignore him, it still stung.

 _No, no, no._

He glanced her way and the only thing she could do was duck, and crouch down behind the counter with a dirty cloth in her hand that she had been cleaning with.

"I know you're there Bella."

 _Shit._

 **A/N: I promise Edward is not a stalker.**


	18. Chapter 18

Bella stood up slowly, to find a lazy smirk on Edward's face.

"You're not hiding from me are you?"

"No! Umm... The floor... was... dirty?"

He lost his smile and took on a serious expression

"I know you got my text."

"Ummm."

"Bella I really would like to get to know you, but if you're not interested then..."

"No!"

"No?"

"Yes I am interested... But you can't be... interested in me."

"Why's that?"

Bella looked down, not wanting to look him in the eye

"Because I'm not like other normal girls... I'm... I'm fat."


	19. Chapter 19

"Bella look at me. Please."

She did and saw the tender understanding in his eyes.

"You're beautiful. So, so beautiful."

"Is there something wrong with your eyes?"

He did that eye roaming again and they landed on her boobs, then her lips and finally into her chocolate brown eyes.

"Oh no. Definitely nothing wrong with my eyes. Dinner please? Seven PM at... this Chinese buffet? They do the best spring rolls."

"O-okay yes, I would really like that."

"I'll text you again and then you can send me your address, I still have your number." He grinned and she blushed.

"Edward!" A feminine voice called.

"Coming Tanya!" He said over his shoulder.

Bella knew that Alice wouldn't give him her number if he wasn't single, and she didn't think Edward was the type of guy to ask her on a date while on a date.

It didn't make her feel any less self conscious tough.


	20. Chapter 20

After her shift, Bella made her way to Rose's. It had just gone six PM and Rose was doing her monthly dinner party.

Though it was more vodka and Doritos as Rose couldn't cook and Emmet was also useless in the kitchen.

"And the party can begin now Bella is here!" Emmet yelled as greeting. He took her in a fierce hug and swung her around making her screech and giggle.

"Put her down Em!" Rose said.

Jasper gave Bella a hug and warm smile, while Alice gave her a glass of diet coke and vodka.

They sat at the table when Rose set out dinner.

"Dig in!"

They tried to hide their laughter and even Rose couldn't help but grimace at the taste of her own food.

"Yeah I know it tastes horrible! You people could just pretend!"

"Awww baby you tried, how about pizza?"


	21. Chapter 21

Forty minutes later, all five of them had slices of cheesey pizza. Bella nibbled on hers, she had managed not to eat that much during the week and mostly drank water, and she didn't want to ruin her progress.

"So I hear someone has a date!" Emmet grinned, nudging Bella's shoulder.

Bella blushed.

"Yes, his name is Edward. Al and Jazz know him."

"He's really nice Bella. I wouldn't allow him near you otherwise," Jasper said, a twinge of his southern accent showing through.

"Oh Jasper. I think you chose the wrong person," Bella winked.

"Please take him Bella! He hogs the bed and leaves his socks everywhere!" Alice cried dramatically.

"Thanks supposed love of my life. Maybe I did Bella," Jasper said dryly.

"Oh baby. I don't mean it." Alice leant over and gave Jasper a kiss on the cheek.

"Alright you two. No porn wanted. My fish are still babies." Emmett laughed and Rose hit him on the shoulder playfully.

Bella wanted that, she realised. Someone to love and someone to love her.


	22. Chapter 22

Edward picked Bella up as promised, Renee was staying with her boyfriend Phil which Bella was glad for.

Due to the horrible weather, Bella wore the skinny jeans that still had the labels on and a blouse designed to hide the flab. A pair of chunky boots that Rose had bought her finished off her look and she hoped she didn't look like a fat dumpling.

"Hey beautiful, you look stunning."

He was the one that looked stunning though. The same DM's graced his feet and he wore dark jeans and a button down shirt. _An adonis_ , she thought. He ran his hand through messy bronze hair and Bella wondered if it was as soft as it looked.

He opened the car door for her and she blushed, something that she seemed to do all the time around him. The ride was short and filled with comfortable silence. The Chinese place looked edgy from the outside and she could already smell the delicious flavors. Too bad she couldn't eat too much.

"After you, my lady."


	23. Chapter 23

They both were seated by the window, a plate of hot and amazing Chinese food in front of them. Bella couldn't help herself and decided to eat something, because she was beginning to feel light headed.

"… Favorite colour?" Edward asked after he chewed his food.

"Hmm, green." She blushed

"Oh yeah?" He smirked.

"Yours?"

"Brown."

"Boring."

"Not really, such a beautiful diverse colour."

A pause and Bella took a bit of the spring roles that were absolutely brilliant.

"I know you work with Jazz, so you're an architect too?"

"Yes, I helped design the glass building a few blocks from here."

"Really? Wow, you have some talent."

"Yeah well I just love what I do. What do you want to do? Or do you like working at Mike's?"

There was no malice like when Renee called her out for being a barmaid, but genuine curiosity.

"I have a teaching degree. I love teaching and children; it's something I've always wanted to do. No jobs available though so I'm stuck at Mike's."

"Hey, nothing wrong with that. I would have loved if you would have been my teacher though." He winked and Bella felt warmth overtake her.


	24. Chapter 24

"Yes."

His hands cupped her cheeks, and he leant it. His breath fanned her mouth and gently, ever so gently, his lips pressed to hers. He took her bottom lip between his and his hands skimmed down her body, sending sparks.

But then he landed on her hips.

She pulled back, and his eyes swam with questions but he smiled instead of asking.

"I've had such a good time tonight." Bella whispered.

"Me too. Are you free on Wednesday?"

"Yes I am."

A small passed between them.

"I'll pick you up at seven again, is that good?"

"Perfect."


	25. Chapter 25

"How'd it go?! Give me the deats!" Alice shrieked on skype, ten minutes after her date had ended.

"It was perfect. I still can't believe he wanted to go out with me."

"Why not B?"

"Because of my body," Bella whispered.

"Girl your body rocks! I would do anything for those hips."

"You can take them! Please!"

"Oh Bella."

Rose joint in a little while later, and Bella filled them in more.

She left out her being scared of him touching her body, but the memory of his lips on hers was enough for her to not pay too much attention to that part.

She fell asleep happy, for once.

* * *

 **A/N: You can never say it enough, so thank you for reviewing, the favourites and follows**

 **:D**


	26. Chapter 26

_Bella_

 **Edward**

* * *

 **Good morning beautfiul xx**

Bella's phone notified her that she had a message from Edward which made her smile.

 _Morning handsome xx_

 **I can't wait for tomorrow.**

 _Me either._

I **can still taste your lips, strawberry chapstick?**

 _I can't believe you said that! And yes._

 **Wear it Thursday ;)**

 _What am I going to do with you?_

 **I can think of a few things. I can imagine you blushing right now. I wonder how far it spreads?**

 _Edward!_

 **Oh beautiful, if you can't handle that, I shouldn't tell you what other thoughts I've had ;D**

 _Edward! OMG!_

 **Okay beautiful talk later, I'm just getting into work. Talk soon xx**

 _Bye xx_


	27. Chapter 27

"What are you eating now?" Renee asked as she came into the kitchen. No 'hello' or 'how was your date?'

The 'now' upset her, as though that's all she did: eat.

"Chicken soup, want some?"

"Eww no, carbs and calories in that darling."

Bella quickly ate the rest of her soup and went upstairs, her mom had made her cry again.

She knew how bad she looked, but she didn't understand why her mom put her down all the time.

A mom was supposed to support and love and nurture. All Bella from Renee was a headache and heartache. She knew Alice or Rose would take her in but she didn't want to disturb their life.

Plus, she saw moving in with her mom a chance to re - connect.

All it had done so far was drive them further apart.

"Hey mama S... I miss you." Bella said into the phone when she called Sue, needing some motherly love.

"Hi sweetheart how are you? I hope you're eating enough? I miss you. Dad told me about your job hunting..."


	28. Chapter 28

Bella needed a new outfit for her date. She wasn't sure what she was looking for and was hoping to be in and out quickly.

"Hi, can I borrow for you for the moment." Bella said to the sale assistant.

"Of course! How can I help."

"I can't seem to find my size. I'm a twelve."

The sales assistant looked at her sympathetically.

"I'm so sorry, we don't carry that size."

"Oh."

"But there is a store across the street that does. And between you and me, their clothes are much better. Cheaper too." The sales assistant winked, trying to make her feel better.

Bella let out a watery smile and whispered thanks.

She did get a pair of jeans that she felt comfortable in and was cheaper. Still her emotions were raw from Renee's constant insults and today hadn't helped.

* * *

 **A/N: Okay so I'm not good with size conversions but I imaged Bella to be a size 16 (UK) so that's a 12 in the USA? Please correct me if I'm wrong, I put all blame on google!**


	29. Chapter 29

His smile when she opened the door was blinding. She had no option but to grin in return. Nothing was said, because nothing needed to be, he grabbed her hand and she closed the door.

"So where are we going?" Bella asked once Edward had started to drive.

He had a pair of old converse of his feet and Bella was sad that his DM's weren't on instead. His mop of hair was also up in a beanie and Bella couldn't believe how sexy he was, and that he wanted to date her. She still couldn't believe it.

"It's a surprise," he answered, a glint in his eyes.

"I don't like surprises," she whined.

"Shhh we'll be there soon and you'll find out."


	30. Chapter 30

"The park?" Bella asked, very surprised.

Edward shrugged a big rucksack onto his back and simply said, "yes."

Bella looked at him as though he was mad.

"It's closed?"

That glint in his eyes shone again and Bella concluded that he was up to no good.

"We're going to climb over."

"Climb over?"

"Yes come on, don't want to get caught now do we?"

"Caught? This is illegal!"

He threw his head back and laughed.

"Don't be so scared. Live on the wild side. Now the question is, can you climb?"


	31. Chapter 31

His hands landed on her hips. Bella was a semi decent climber, every Sunday she would explore the woods with Seth, behind their cosy two story house. The thought of him made her heart ache, she missed him deeply.

"I can climb it." She hoped.

She needed help. She couldn't get her foot onto the horizontal bar of the rail.

"Do you need help?"

She instantly began to panic. She couldn't let him lift her up, one he wouldn't be able to do so and two, she didn't want him to touch anywhere near her stomach.

"No I can do it."

"Come on Bella don't be silly, let me help."

She jumped and cringed. He didn't move his hands and made no move to hoist her up. He then cleared his throat.

"On the count of three, one, two, three," he whispered huskily and hoisted her up.


	32. Chapter 32

Five minutes later, they found themselves in the park. Bella wasn't really scared of much, but the dark and stillness of the air frightened her.

But then Edward took her hand. His hand was slightly calloused, and she shivered at the Sparks that went through her.

They walked deeper into the park, until the gate disappeared.

"Okay, close your eyes."

"What? Why?"

He chuckled, "just close your eyes I promise nothing bad will happen."

Bella put her trust in him and closes her eyes. She heard some rustling and shuffling.

"Edward?" He just chuckled again.

"You can open your eyes," he said from beside her a little while later.

She did, "oh Edward!"


	33. Chapter 33

She couldn't help the tears that came to her eyes.

On the floor laid a plaid blanket, an array of battery lit candles, a small vase of fresh tulips - which in passing she had mentioned were her favourite flower on their first date - and a plate of finger food.

She threw her arms around him and he let out a sound of surprise.

"Oh Edward it's so beautiful thank you."

He pressed a small delicate kiss to her neck and she shivered.

And so, in the quiet of the night under a few stars - as it was Seattle - they began their second date, which both of them hoped that it defiantly would not be the last.


	34. Chapter 34

Things were heating up. It started with a bit of chocolate sauce from a chocolate doughnut on Bella's lips - which Edward had insisted she try, and who could deny those puppy eyes? - That he leant over and suckled her bottom lip.

"Hmmm defiantly tasted better with the strawberry." He groaned as he pulled away.

Then to her own surprise Bella leant in, taking his lips. Soon, his tongue stroked hers, dominating her mouth.

He ended up on top of her, his weight sitting deliciously on top of her, his lips had left her mouth and found purchase on her neck sucking softly and his hands wandered to -

"Edward stop. Stop."

He did immediately.

"What's wrong? Are we going to fast?" He said as moved off of her.

"Are you not repulsed by me? Bella whispered.

"Repulsed? Bella? I don't understand."


	35. Chapter 35

"My body Edward. I'm fat and ugly, can't you see that?"

He didn't say anything for a moment, instead chose to take her small hand in his lager one.

"Bella please. It isn't the first time you've called yourself fat. I happen to be really attracted to your body."

Bella scoffed, "you can't mean -"

She never got a chance to finish as Edward tackled her to the ground and laid in between her thighs.

"Can you feel that?"

 _Feel? She couldn't - oh, oh!_

He pressed his very hard cock into her thigh.

"Well? Can you?"

"Yes!"

"Bella your body is fucking perfection. When you're ready, I'm going to worship you, and you're not even going to remember your own name. And you'll defiantly forget about whatever negative feelings you have about your gorgeous body. I can promise you that."


	36. Chapter 36

It had been three days since Bella's and Edwards last date. They had been in constant contact, learning more about each other.

"Bella! You're needed on the other side of the bar!" Garrett yelled, re-stocking the booze.

"Yes! Coming!"

After serving a few customers, Bella went for her break which only lasted ten minutes but it was a chance to sit down and check messages and emails.

There were three missed calls from Rose and two texts.

 **Bella call me ASAP.**

 **Bella! Please!**

Panicked, Bella rang and a sobbing Rose picked up.

"Rose what's wrong?"

"Oh Bella what am I going to do?

"Do? Rose please you're scaring me."

"Me and Emmet had a big fight this afternoon about - I'm sorry Bella but I don't want to do this over the phone."

"Rose, I'm going to leave work and be on my way shorty, okay?"

Five minutes later, she called her workmate Jess and switched shifts and called a taxi to Rose's place.


	37. Chapter 37

"Oh Bella!" Rose cried as she opened the door throwing her arms around her best friend.

"Shhh it's okay, come on, let's sit you down."

Bella waited until Rose had stopped crying and gently rubbed her arms, showing whatever comfort she could.

Alice was currently on a no - phone two day holiday with Jasper, and Bella couldn't help but wish she was here; because she'd know exactly what to say and do.

"Shhh Rose it's okay. It's okay. Are you read to tell me what happened?"

Rose nodded, "I told Emmet I was pregnant."

"Your pregnant?! Oh my God! Does... Does he not want the baby?"

"He said it can't be his."

"What?"

"When Emmet was a small child, he was in an accident and the doctors gave him a near zero chance of having children. He told me quite early in our relationship and we agreed when we felt the time was right, we would adopt. I took the test this morning and when I told him he flipped out. Accusing me of cheating, Bella I would never! The stupid fucker! I love him so damn much..." Rose sobbed. 


	38. Chapter 38

"Do you want this baby?" Bella asked.

"I do, I was so excited when I saw it was positive and then..."

"Rose whatever happens, I'll be with you every step of the way. And I'm so happy for you."

***  
Ice - cream? _Check._

Doritos and diet coke? _Check.  
_  
Chick - flick? _Check_.

Rose was curled up against Bella, both under a blanket.

"And so the lion fell in love with lamb..." The sparkly vampire said on the TV screen.

Both girls sighed at the weird romantic statement.

"If a lion and a lamb had a baby what would it be called? A limb? A laon? And how ugly would it be?" Bella said randomly.

"Bella you can be so weird."

 _Bang, bang, bang._


	39. Chapter 39

Emmet barged in when Rose opened the door, his eyes bloodshot and his face full of sorrow. Bella quickly left to go to hide in the bathroom, giving her two friends privacy.

Rose and Em's apartment wasn't very large, therefore Bella could hear everything; even though she desperately tried not to.

"Babe I'm sorry, I love you…Please forgive me." Emmet pleaded.

"You're such an idiot! No, you can't kiss me and give me your puppy dogs eyes and expect me to forgive you! Not after what you said to me! Accusing me of… cheating on you." Rose replied angrily.

"I know. I know! When you told me it was like all my dreams had come true, I felt like such a failure knowing I couldn't ever give you children, Rose. I assumed the worst because I never believed it was possible. I love you so, very much. Please don't be mad at me anymore, I can't take it. I know I acted like an arsehole but I am excited and happy that you're... we're pregnant."

"You're not a failure, you very stupid man. I love you too. And I expect loads and loads of chocolate from you to truly make it up to me."

As soon as Bella thought the cost was clear, she exited the bathroom. When Emmet spotted her, his cheeks tinged pink and Rose gave her a small bashful smile.

* * *

 **A/N: Chocolate makes everything better, am I right? :D**

 **I am so very bad at replying to reviews, but I do try my best and would like you all to know that I do read and treasure each and everyone. Also, thank you for the follows and favourites!**

 **To the 'guest' I respect your criticism, however, no one is forcing you to read this story.**

 **See you tomorrow!**


	40. Chapter 40

"Bella you don't have to go!" Rose exclaimed. Bella smiled as she saw the way Emmet looked at his girlfriend and her still flat stomach adoringly.

"Oh hush. You two need some alone time. Plus I'll just watch the rest of the film later on my own."

Rose hugged Bella tight.

"Love you B, and sorry about..."

"Don't be silly. Love you Rose."

"Thank you Bella for keeping Rose company while I acted like an idiot." Emmet hugged her to him.

"Just name the baby after me," Bella joked in response.

"I'm sorry Bella, it's going to be Emmet Junior, and if its a girl? I think Emmetlina has a nice ring to it." Emmet laughed to show he wasn't serious.


	41. Chapter 41

_Bella_

 **Edward**

* * *

She had just gotten home when her phone beeped, and a text message from Edward appeared on her screen.

 **No beautiful, I can't agree, covers of music can never beat the originals. And I'm afraid as punishment I'm going to pick the film we watch tomorrow.  
**  
 _Tomorrow? What's happening tomorrow?  
_ _ **  
**_ **We're going to the cinema, I'll see you at eight xx**

 _Fine if I must lol xx_

 **Cheeky, sweet dreams xx**

 _Night handsome xx_

Bella put her phone on her beside table with a smile.

* * *

 **A/N: Who else uses real grammar and spelling in their texts? Can I get a hands up?! Or am I just sad? lol**


	42. Chapter 42

Bella and the girls made plans to meet up, so Rosalie could tell Alice about the pregnancy.

"You're pregnant? I'm going to be an aunt? Oh Rose! Congratulations!" Alice shrieked, causing people to stare.

Rose and Bella just laughed while Alice asked a billion questions.

Alice and rose pulled a blushing Bella into Victoria secret.

"How's it going with Edward? Alice asked.

"Amazing!" Bella gushed.

Alice and Rose grinned dangerously at Bella.

"Why you looking at me like that?"

"Bella, it's time we introduce you to thongs." Rose said seriously.

Bella didn't end up buying any thongs, but she did buy a matching set of lacy underwear.

Not that she would find the nerve to show Edward anytime soon.


	43. Chapter 43

"Watch the film!" Bella furiously whispered as Edward rained kisses down her neck.

"I'm enjoying myself here." He nipped at the Column of her throat and she squeaked.

"Edward!"

She felt his grin against her skin.

"Edward -" he stopped her talking with his lips.

His tongue thrust in between her slightly agape lips and Bella melted as his tongue danced with hers.

 _I could kiss him forever_ , she thought, as her hands found purchase in his hair and pulled him as close as she could.

"Well I'm glad we went and watched that film. I have no idea what it was about but..." Bella teased.

"Like you didn't enjoy yourself. I Bet the film was rubbish." Edward grumbled playfully.


	44. Chapter 44

"Would you like to come in for coffee?" Bella asked.

Renee was thankfully at her boyfriends again and she desperately didn't want the night to end.

"Coffee?"

"Yes, coffee, it's okay if you don't want to."

He grinned.

"No coffee... Coffee sounds good."

Bella have him a brief tour of the house, it was small and not decorated to her taste, but she lived there practically for free and couldn't complain.

"And this is my room. I still have stuff in boxes that-"

But she couldn't finish her sentence because Edward pulled her close and fell on the bed.


	45. Chapter 45

**A/N: lemons ahead!**

* * *

"Hmmmmm... Strawberry," he whispered releasing her lips.

"I really did mean coffee... I can't... I'm not ready to have... Sex... Edward I'm sorry."

In fact, she probably was ready to have sex. _Oh_ how she ached to be with him. She had thought about having sex with him many, many times.

The problem was the way she looked. The problem was her stretch marks and wobbly tummy.

"Shhh beautiful I know you did. I'm sorry. Nothing has to happen. I saw this bed and you standing there looking sexy... But you need to know I would never ever do anything that you wasn't comfortable with."

"Oh Edward... I know you wouldn't."

But she had an idea. Something that would be both good for her and him, and without having to take off any of her clothes.

That is how Edward found himself on his back and Bella's hands clumsily unbuttoning his jeans, taking his very large and thick cock out.


	46. Chapter 46

"Bella! You don't have to do anything." He visibly swallowed.

"I want to Edward, so sit back and relax," Bella ordered, causing Edward to chuckle through gasps as Bella slowly began to stroke him.

She tightened her hand and used his pre-cum at the tip to lubricate him.

Rose and Alice were always talking about their sex lives, which had come in handy after all.

 _Thank you._

"Squeeze a bit harder... Yes like that," he grunted, before Bella engulfed his aching dick.

"Fuck! Bella! You really don't have to... Shit..."

She couldn't take too much into her mouth, but what she lacked in skill she made up for enthusiasm. Whatever she couldn't reach and suck with her mouth, she used her hands to stroke.

"Not long left... Oh Bella... You look beautiful with my cock in your mouth... I'm going to..."

Three squirts hit the back of her throat, and while it didn't taste amazing, she was proud she had made him feel good.


	47. Chapter 47

,"Thank you beautiful I can't tell you how much I enjoyed that."

"Edward you've been thank me for about ten minutes now. I enjoyed... Doing that to you." she blushed.

He stroked her cheek softly.

"How after you just gave me a fucking awesome blow job can you be embarrassed?"

If possible she blushed harder.

"Are you a virgin, is that why your so hesitant to let me touch you..."

"No, I lost my virginity to a guy named Riley when I was seventeen, we were dating for a bit and then he moved to England... I know you're not a virgin... Wait I didn't mean it like that... I need to shut up."

He chuckled, " No I'm not, I was seventeen too. Her name was Carmen."

She could feel her face heat up again.

"Well, when you are ready, let me know okay? Never be shy to tell me anything. But no pressure, please remember that."


	48. Chapter 48

Bella was sipping her coffee a day later, when her phone rang.

"Hi miss Swan?"

"Hi?" She answered, hoping whoever she was talking to wasn't trying to ask if she was thinking about taking out life insurance again.

"We received your application for our open Kindergarten teacher spot and we would like to know if you could come in for an interview?"

"Yes, that would be wonderful! I'm free at any time."

She could've jumped for joy.

"That's great to hear! Are you free.."

Bella had told everyone she knew the good news, her father, step - mother and Seth were ecstatic and her friends proud. Renee didn't seem to care but even that didn't dampen her happiness.

"Beautiful I'm so happy for you. You're going to be a wonderful teacher." Edward praised on the other side of the phone.

"I'm so excited!"

"We'll go out an celebrate soon, yeah? I'm working on this big project and so I'll get back to you. Bye sweetheart."

"Bye handsome, talk you soon."

* * *

 **A/N: I'm so sorry for this very late update! I've just been so busy but normal updates tomorrow. And as always thank you :)**


	49. Chapter 49

Bells had done her last shift at Mike's, even though she wouldn't miss the place, Mike was a good boss, and her co-workers were nice too.

Her interview had gone brilliantly and they all but offered her the job on the spot. A day later she officially had the job.

 _I'm a teacher._

She did want to teach slightly older kids, but that part of her dream could wait.

 _I'm a teacher!_

Bella was going to help nurture and educate the future generations, and for once she was proud of herself.

Things were going great with Edward too, they had been seeing more and more of each other, and he had taken her out to a nice celebratory dinner. He still wanted to make her feel good, after she had pleasured him - four more times she might add- and maybe, just maybe, he would accept what was under her clothes.

She hoped.


	50. Chapter 50

"I'd like to Introduce you to Miss Swan!" Angela, the other teacher, and a very lovely woman smiled to the class.

"Hi class! I can't wait to learn all your names!" Bella said to the children sitting on the little chairs at the little tables.

A caramel coloured skinned girl put up her hand and said: "My name is Annie. Mommy keeps telling daddy that she wants to be swingers. Is that a real job Miss Swan? 'Cause I wanna swing all my life."

"Ummmm-" Bella hesitated before Angela chocked a laugh and ushered them for paint time.

Even though her day was filled with dried glue, snot, tears and glitter, she was finally getting what she wanted.

And knowing she was seeing Edward later made everything seem everything seem like it was falling into place.


	51. Chapter 51

She had never been to Edwards place, but today she was going to.

In between conflicting schedules, late night dates, a leaking pipe and a broken washing machine; she had never had the chance.

"Hey," Edward greeted warmly as she opened the door.

She greeted him with a kiss, and he quickly shut the door, backing her up against it.

***  
Edward had cooked one of the only things he could: lasagne; and that was only because half of it was out of a jar, but Bella didn't care. She ate it with a smile. Though not too much, she had lost four pound and could see a massive difference.

"So my mom wanted to meet my girlfriend, are you free on Saturday, beautiful?"

"Your gi- girlfriend?"

"My girlfriend, unless you have a problem with that?"

"No! And uh yes I'm free Saturday."

Happy, she was so happy.


	52. Chapter 52

It started with a kiss, and now Edward was on top of her, shirtless. He was fairly defined and lean, it made Bella feel very self conscious.

Out of her league.

Edward pulled back, "Bella what's wrong?"

"Nothing," she whispered, trying not to cry.

Edward sat up and pulled her up with him, taking her hands.

"Please stop shutting me out Bella, you cringe when I touch you, I feel like you're only giving me bits if you at time. Please tell me what I've done." He said sadly.

"Done? You've done nothing. Edward you don't understand. All my life I've been told I'm not... Skinny enough... Good enough... And you say you want me and I just can't see how."


	53. Chapter 53

"Bella! God, what am I going to do with you?" Edward took his free hand and roughly ran his palm over his face.

"I'm not worth it Edward."

This made him angry, she could see that by the clench of his jaw.

"How could you say that? I look at you and you're perfect! I wouldn't change anything about you. Nothing. I want you and your body, Bella." His eyes softened as he saw a few tears drop down her cheeks.

Edward leaned toward and placed kissed on her neck.

"Please beautiful, believe me, believe me when I say I want you. I. Just. Want. You." He whispered nuzzling her neck.

"I - I believe you."

And, maybe one day she would.

* * *

 **A/N: Don't you just want an Edward? I know I do!**


	54. Chapter 54

"Will you let me see you? Please?"

 _No._

"O-Okay."

 _Now or never._

"Stand up for me beautiful."

He pulled her off the bed and slowly looked over her.

"How could you not think you're beautiful? Bella I don't think you realise the impact you have on me." He whispered, gazing into her eyes.

She bit her lip and remained quiet, wanting to get this over and done with.

He gave her gentle instructions to help him undress her, "raise your arms" and "turn around." when her shirt came off, she tried to hide her stomach but he firmly took her arms and put them to the side of her.

"Don't hide."

Her jeans followed, then her bra, and then her panties.

And then she was naked.


	55. Chapter 55

Edward had not stopped looking at her, his eyes roamed her whole body.

His voice was hoarse, "Your stunning... Gorgeous... beautiful."

The tears didn't stop, and he pulled her close, hugging her to him and rocked her.

"Are you okay?" he asked a while later.

"Yes... I'm sorry."

"Don't you say sorry beautiful, no need for it."

Bella looked up and smiled and he cupped her face, bringing his lips down to hers. It started out sweet and innocent and soon, tongues touched and teeth clashed.

Edward slid his hands down Bella's body, he stopped, taking Bella's breasts in his hands. His thumbs brushing over her nipples. He delighted in her moan and gasp of surprise.

He trailed his lips down her neck, sucking softly, knowing that he was going to leave a mark on her body. A mark or reminder, that he wanted her.


	56. Chapter 56

Edward rained kisses on her delicate collarbones, and grinned against her salty skin when she whimpered.

He bowed his head and ran his tongue over her right nipple.

"Edward!"

He took the hard tip into his mouth and sucked. He took the nipple between his teeth and pulled back slightly, realising it and letting bounce back.

The slight lick of pain only highlighted the pleasure, and Bella couldn't stop the pleas and moans that poured from her mouth.

Edward did the same to the other breast, not wanting to leave the left breast out.

When she couldn't take anymore and her nipples were red and straining, she pulled his face up to hers and kissed him with everything she had.

"Believe me, Bella."

"I think... I really do."


	57. Chapter 57

"What are you doing?" Her eyes went wild and Edward dropped to his knees.

"I think you know."

"No one has ever done that to me before."

"Well then I'm glad to be the first to worship you like this."

He nudged her legs open, dragging a hot wet tongue around the inside of her thighs causing Bella to pant, before he ran the length of his tongue over her little pink slit.

"Oh my! Edward! Please! More..."

He licked, nipped and sucked, taking her hard little clit into his mouth and lavished it with his tongue, and she fell apart; her legs became like jelly and he supported her before she fell.


	58. Chapter 58

Edward had stripped down to his boxers and Bella found a top of his that fit, though not as loose as she would have liked. They currently lay in bed, facing each other.

"Stay the night," he whispered.

"Yes. I'll stay." She would have to set her alarm an hour earlier but it was worth it to be in bed with him all night.

"Good, Bella I- can't wait to wake up with you in my arms."

"That sounds perfect."

He kept his promise, she woke to a warm body wrapped around herself and didn't want to leave.


	59. Chapter 59

"How's the job?" Bella's father asked on the phone.

"So well daddy! I love it! The kids are so amazing." Bella said, as she wiped the tables in her class of weird unknown substances.

"Good baby I'm so, so proud of you."

"Thank you daddy."

"So when you coming to visit? Mama, Seth and I miss you so much."

"Soon daddy. And I might bring a plus one?"

"A boy?" Bella's father grumbled.

"His name is Edward, dad, and I think you'll really like him."

"Hmmm well I can decide that for myself. I'll see you on the fifth pumpkin, do I make myself clear."

"Crystal sir," she giggled.

* * *

 **A/N: As always thank you so much for reviewing, even though I do suck at replying to them all, I do read and treasure them all.**

 **:D**


	60. Chapter 60

"Don't be so nervous." Edward said, taking hold of Bella's hand, standing outside his parents large house.

"They're going hate me."

"They'll love you like I - "

"Oh you must be Bella!" A pretty middle aged woman greeted as she opened the door.

"Hi Mrs. Cullen, it's so nice to meet you."

"Nonsense! It's Esme, sweetie!" Esme took her in a fierce hug.

"Yeah hi mom, nice to see you too," Edward chimed in.

"Shut up dear. Carlisle will be down any second. He's putting together his model cars. Men and their toys!" She giggled as she pulled Bella into the house.


	61. Chapter 61

Esme and Carlisle were lovely people and wonderful parents. Bella noticed by the way Esme smiled at her son, and Carlisle made it known how proud he was of his only child.

Esme had gotten his baby pictures out after she had cooked a great Mexican meal.

Not that Bella had eaten most of it. She had mastered the art of pushing things around her plate.

"Bella are you okay? You look a little pale?" Carlisle asked concerned.

"Oh don't worry I'm fine, just a little headache." She lied.

She felt terrible.


	62. Chapter 62

"Oh my little baby! How chubby your cheeks were!" Esme cooed, making Edward blush.

"Every time I would change his nappy, he'd ppee on my shirt as though he was saving it for me," Carlisle whined.

"Dad!" Edward moaned.

"Aww Edward!" Bella laughed.

"Well kids I'm not getting any younger and I expect grandchildren soon." Esme said in a motherly tone, one that meant she was serious.

"Ummmmm..." Bella and Edward mumbled together.

"I agree son, it's about time you put those swimmers to good use. Bella I have to warn you, I remember Esme screaming how big Edwards head was while in labour. And when I looked, God, it gave me nightmares for a week."


	63. Chapter 63

"So... I understand if you never want to talk to me again." Edward groaned, as he shut off the car outside Bella's house.

"Edward your parents are amazing! I enjoyed myself so much and they were so sweet and welcoming. And your mother telling me that I probably had a very nice womb made the experience even better." She couldn't help but laugh.

"I swear I didn't know they were going to be that embarrassing. You're the first girl I've brought home to see them."

"The first?" Bella felt warmth fill her.

"The first. Well since I was seven anyway and I thought Susie Robert's was going to be my wife."

They laughed, and when the laughter trust into quiet sighs, Edward took Bella's hand, he asked, "stay with me the weekend?"

"Yes _." Always. I'll stay with you always._

"Let me just get a bag, I'll be two minutes." She whispered and then ran into her mother's home.


	64. Chapter 64

"Sit on my face."

"What?" She spluttered.

"I can't get the taste of your pussy out of my head. Sit on my face."

"What?"

"Come on beautiful, don't be shy."

She quickly pulled off her underwear and shyly crawled up his body and straddled his face, lowering herself into his mouth.

"Oh God!"

He her lapped at her pussy and sucked on her clit, making her inner muscles clench.

"Now beautiful, take my cock out."

She loved when he spoke to her like that, commanding her sexually.

"Yes Edward."

"Beautiful, I think you know what I want you to do."

His groan echoed as she took him in her warm, wet mouth.

* * *

 **A/N: Well isnt Edward bossy! Not that I think Bella minds...**

 **Thanks for reading and your reviews (I can't believe it's reached over 200, shucks you guys!), Edwards parents were defiantly a riot! I took inspiration from family members ;)**


	65. Chapter 65

"Edward I... I want you inside of me." Bella said when their breathing had returned to normal.

"Oh beautiful, I've been dreaming of when you'd say that to me."

"I'm on the pill because of... heavy periods and I'm clean. I haven't had sex since I was seventeen," She blurted.

"I'm clean too and don't worry, I'll be gentle."

"Please don't make me wait any longer."

Edward propped himself on top of her and gripped one of her legs, hooking it around his waist. He lined himself up against her and pushed inside her slowly.

"Jesus Bella! Fuck!" He groaned through clenched teeth, he had never felt anything so good.

"Edward," she moaned, delighting in the stretching and the fullness of him.

Once he was sure she had adjusted to him, he thrust harder into her, over and over.

Whimpers, moans and grunts fell from their mouths and they soon fell apart together.


	66. Chapter 66

"Yes Edward!"

"Bella oh god, you're still so tight. How are you still so goddamn tight... After four... Fuck... Times... Fuck!"

 _Slap. Grunt. Moan. Slap._

"Edward please!"

"Please what baby? Tell me what you want, don't be scared."

"Harder... Nearly there... Yes..."

"That's it baby take it."

 _Slap. Scream. Slap, slap. Grunt._

Heavy breath, rustling of covers, and the gentle sound of lips touching.

The perfect end to a perfect night.


	67. Chapter 67

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Bella asked as they laid on the sofa, a film in the background.

"Why can't I look at my sexy girlfriend?"

"Because I'm not sexy?"

He rolled his eyes.

"Stop the doubts Bella. I find you so sexy...I love your eyes. They're the colour of chocolate. I love your lips, because they taste of strawberry. I love the way you moan when I kiss your neck. I love the softness of your stomach and I love the curve of your hips. I love your legs and the way they wrap around me when your close to letting go. And I - I love you."


	68. Chapter 68

"You have this habit of taking my breath away Edward, how could I not love you? I could never had hoped to meet someone like you. The way you make me feel. My heart beats for you Edward." Bella said before kissing him.

The kiss was slow and sweet, her tongue stroked his and she rolled them over so she was straddling him.

"It's my turn to be in charge," Bella whispered huskily.

He gripped her hips and ground into, showing her how happy he was with this idea.

Bella pulled her panties to the side, and took Edward's member out of his boxers, stroking it up and down her slit, showing him how wet she was.

"Bella... Please."

How could she refuse? She sunk down on him slowly, both groaning at the amazing sensation of feeling each other so intimately.


	69. Chapter 69

Alice, Rose and Bella had made plans to visit Starbucks after they had finished work, to catch up; even though they practically talked everyday.

"Bella you look so happy." Alice commented.

"I am. Edward makes me so happy." Bella grinned.

"I'm so glad Bella. Which is why I suggest you invite Edward to my apartment on Saturday for dinner," Rosalie said.

"Sounds great! Thought about names yet?"

Rosalie wasn't showing as her pregnancy still in the early stages, but Bella had already sent her a book of baby names.

"We like Logan for a boy. Aubrey for a girl," Rosalie answered.

Bella and Alice cooed and told Rose that they were lovely names.

Bella couldn't get the image of a bronze haired baby out of head; something she hoped was in the future for her.


	70. Chapter 70

"I think it's time I met Edward properly," Renee said to Bella before she headed off to work the next day. Her mother had only seen him in passing.

"Um, yeah, okay I'll see if he's free tonight."

"Hi Miss swan," little Mason greeted.

"Hi! Did you have a good weekend?"

"Ummm, yeah daddy wasn't there, so it was better," he mumbled.

Bella's heart broke. The school had contacted social services and now it was out of Bella's hands.

"Well I made cookies? Do you think that will make you feel better?"

"Yes! You're the best!"

"Hey Edward," Bella whispered into the phone.

"Hi beautiful? What's wrong? You sound upset."

"You know the little boy I was telling you about, Mason? I'm just worried."

"I know and I admire your big caring heart, maybe talk to the school again?"

"Yeah I will. You free tonight to meet my mom? Dinner at my house? I'll cook your favourite."

Edward sounded surprised when he replied, every time he had gone to get to know his girlfriends mother better, Bella had rushed him out of her house, "Yes of course, I look forward to it."

"Also, are you free to meet my dad, step mom and Brother over the weekend?" Bella asked hesitantly.

"Beautiful, you didn't even need to ask. It's a date."

"Oh! And my friends wanted to meet you, is Tuesday okay?"

"I've never felt so wanted in all my life. I look forward to meeting the important people in your life. Love you."

"Love you too."

* * *

 **A/N: Well, Bella seems to be cramming everything in!**


	71. Chapter 71

Dinner number one was going terrible.

Bella had made Edwards's favourite: chicken kebabs with sweet potato fries. She hadn't eaten all day and was feeling dizzy, so she knew that she had to eat something today.

Renee had already insulted Bella and Edward looked tense, knocking around his food.

"This is delicious beautiful," Edward said trying to break the silence.

"It's not like it was hard. I've had better," Renee muttered.

"Thank you Edward."

"So Bella says you draw buildings for a living, doesn't sound too challenging."

"Actually it is. Bella can I speak to you?" Edward stood up, not caring if he sounded rude.

"Bella, please tell me you don't listen to anything that comes out your mother's mouth. I'm sorry if that's disrespectful but your mother is..."

He didn't need to finish, she knew.

"She's my mom, I have to believe she says that to make me a better person."

"Bullshit Bella. She puts you down constantly. You've looked like you've wanted to cry all night. That's not right. My parents have never treated me like that. Ever."


	72. Chapter 72

"What do you want me to say Edward? That she makes me hate myself?"

"Yes! I want you to open up! I love you Bella so much, and what hurts you, hurts me. We take one step forward and then five steps back."

Bella wiped her eyes and offered him a small smile; it was true, he had made her feel better, and then something would set her off and she'd go back to square one.

"I love you too and I'm sorry."

"This is what I mean, why are you apologising? You've not done anything. Just... Stay with me this week. Not here, please."

An uncomfortable goodbye to Renee, and Bella packed a bag full of the things she'd need, and drove off into the dark of the night with Edward.


	73. Chapter 73

Edward undressed Bella slowly and then himself.

"If I can't make you feel beautiful with my words... I will with my body, you deserve so much Bella, so much. I love you."

"Love you."

He rubbed her clit softly, and entered one, then two, fingers knuckle deep while she mewled under him.

"That good beautiful?"

"Yes so good."

He replaced his fingers with his cock, and slowly thrust inside her and captured her lips in a soaring kiss.

* * *

 **A/N: Hi guys! Thanks so much for reviewing, yes Renee defiantly deserves a something violent to happen to her and it seems Edward is working his magic!**

 **Due to my laptop dying, which had all my pre written chapters on, I have to put this story on hold; until I get a new one. It's really hard to update from my phone. Technology hates me. Like seriously, I've gone through two charger leads this month.**

 **Anyway, see you soon!**


	74. Chapter 74

**Snapshot: EPOV**

 **The morning after Renee's**

* * *

 _She was so beautiful_ , he thought, in the stillness of the early morning.

Bella was pale and soft; and when she had shifted in her sleep earlier, the duvet cover had fallen, revealing her plump breasts that he loved.

He loved everything about her body.

He loved that he could grab on to her hips, and that her rounded cheeks that would flush Crimson constantly. He loved her large brown eyes and the feeling of her body pressed into his.

Not that she would believed anything he had to say.

He tried to show her and tell her how beautiful she was, but he was becoming exhausted. He was losing the fight, and Edward didn't know how much more of this battle he could take. The seed of self loathing had been planted too deep by Renee. A bitter woman, who had somehow given birth to the kindest, sweet woman he had the pleasure of having in his life.

Bella moaned in her sleep, and that combined with her body, had made him hard.

He took her nipple in his mouth and when he heard her sharp gasp, he knew she had awoken.

"I just couldn't help myself beautiful."

And proceeded to show her just how beautiful she was again, and again.

* * *

 **A/N: I lost all my files :'( But normal updates from here!**

 **Catch ya later!**


	75. Chapter 75

Bella was giddy.

She had put her jeans on this morning and they had practically just fallen off her hips.

It was working. Finally she was seeing real results.

Unlike the other countless ways she had tried loosing weight, her own 'diet' plan was successful.

It had made the stomach cramps and the exhaustion worth it.

Soon, maybe she would feel like she deserved Edward.

"You not eating?" Edward asked, his mouth full with food, after he noticed Bella's plate untouched.

He had ordered Chinese, Bella had come in late and Edward was a useless cook.

"Ate at work," Bella replied nervously.

He looked her over for a second and cocked his head, before smiling sadly and turning his attention back to the TV.


	76. Chapter 76

Dinner number two was going great.

Bella's nerves had been on high alert after what had happened with Renee but she realised that she was being an idiot.

Her friends were truly wonderful.

The girls had greeted Edward was hugs and the guy had greeted him with handshakes and grins.

It helped that Jasper already knew him, so it was slightly less awkward than it would have been.

"Congratulations on the baby," Edward said to Rose and Emmet.

"Thanks man," Emmet replied, while Rose grinned.

Alice had handed everyone drinks, a non alcoholic cocktail for Rose, a beer for Jasper and Edward - Emmet had also given up booze, so he opted for a coke, but he looked at the beer like a long lost love - and a vodka and diet coke for Bella.

Everyone had made their way to the dinning table, when Rosalie had announced dinner was done.

* * *

 **A/N: Thank you everyone for your reviews.**


	77. Chapter 77

"This is... Great Rosalie. What is it?" Edward questioned hesitantly, pushing his fork into whatever was on his plate.

Emmet burst out laughing.

"It's mushroom fried rice and chicken parmesan," she replied before glaring at her boyfriend.

"Oh! Yeah I can taste the uh mushroom now."

Bella squeezed Edwards hand and bit her lip to keep from laughing, and Jasper was hiding his face.

"Don't worry! Pizza is on its way!" Alice giggled.

"Alice!" Rose shrieked.

Right on cue, the doorbell rang.

"I think that's the pizza!" Jasper stood up and answered the door.

"Your friends are nuts," Edward whispered in Bella's ear.

She giggled in response and nodded her head.


	78. Chapter 78

"You look different beautiful," Edward said, Tuesday morning.

"I do?"

Of course she did, she knew she did.

"Have you lost weight?"

"Yeah."

"I didn't know you was dieting."

"I'm not." She felt guilty for lying, but knew he wouldn't approve

"Well you look as beautiful as you did yesterday and the day before that. Don't think you need to lose weight because of what your mom said."

"I'm not, honestly. Stick and stones. And plus, I run around after kids all day so..."

"Okay. I love you."

"I love you." Bella whispered as she pressed a kiss to his lips and carried on with getting ready for work.


	79. Chapter 79

Bella answered Edward's call as she came closer to his home.

"Hey, what's up handsome?"

"I'm out with my friends having a drink. And I wanted to know if you wanted to come out so you know, I could show you off."

"Are you drunk? At this hour?" Bella teased.

"No! No beautiful. well I could be... Maybe. I told Marcus no more but he didn't listen and I couldn't not drink it." He exclaimed.

"No of course not, that would be so rude."

"See? That's why I love you, you understand. Anyway I'm at _The Lamb_ , text me when you're here and I'll come meet you."

"Okay. love you too. See you soon."


	80. Chapter 80

"So this is Marcus, Kate, Lauren, Jared, Garret and Peter. Guys this is the love of my life Bella,." Edward pointed to each of his friends who waved and smiled at her.

"Hi," she whispered nervously.

"Don't be nervous." Edward took her face in his hands and kissed her, with far too much tongue for public.

"Edward!" She pulled away giggling, when his friends whistled and one yelled "get a room."

"Oh! My niece Carlie is in your class! Such a small world!" Lauren grinned. The girls from Edward's circle had quickly pulled Bella from a very loved up tipsy Edward.

"Carlie is such a cutie and so smart! I promise I'm not just saying that." Bella smiled back, honest in her reply. She did think that of all the kids in her class as well.

"Another drink ladies?" Kate chimed in.


	81. Chapter 81

"I'm here! The party can begin!" A beautiful blonde yelled as she walke over to the table.

"Tanya!" they yelled.

She looked familiar but Bella couldn't place where she had seen her.

"Why hello, you must be Bella. Edward was defiantly right... You are beautful," Tanya purred.

Bella blushed.

"Hi, nice to meet you."

Tanya sat next to Edward and they began a deep disscussion, full of laughing and arm touching.

Bellas insides twisted. That was who he was supposed to be with. Not a fatty like her.

Edward's friends were lovely, and kept her in the conversation, not letting her sit there silently, even when she was clearly out of loop.

And even though Edward kept stoking parts of her body, while talking to the others; jealously had tainted her and it left a bitter taste in her mouth.


	82. Chapter 82

"Belllllllaaaaaaaa..." Edward whined drunkingly.

"Edward go to sleep." Bella responded.

"But I dont want toooooooooo!"

"Edward!"

"Whats wrong beautiful? You're acting so grumpy. I love you so s much. Sooo muchhhhh."

"I'm tired."

He rolled on top of her and bagn to tickle her.

"Stop!"

"Say 'I love you, you're the best and you have a big dick.'"

"Stop, stop please!" She gasped through giggles.

"Say it!"

"I love you, you're the best and you have a big dick!"

He did and wrapped his arms around her. When she knew he was asleep, she let loose the tears that she had wanted to earlier.


	83. Chapter 83

"Hey Bella you okay? You look a bit pale?" It wasn't the first time Angela had asked that question.

"I'm fine, thanks Ang. Just tired."

The children around the classroom, the adrenalinefrom their break still hadn't left their little bodies.

"Okay kids! Story time!"

"Miss Swan?" One her students, Kelly called.

"Yes Kelly?" She said gently.

"Tina is being sick in the toilets."

She held in her sigh, there was a downside to every job.

A paniced Rose had called Bella telling her to go her place after work, and so, next to Alice, she watched a woman giving birth on youtube.

"I cant do that." Rose stated.

"Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!" Alice cried.

Bella patted Rose's arm and said, "good luck."


	84. Chapter 84

"Edward! You can't!" Bella whined pathetically as he kissed up her neck in the booth.

Edward carried on, a hand travelling from her waist to her chest.

She pushed herself away and giggled.

"We're in a restaurant!"

"So? You look so good in that dress. You can't tease me like beautiful and expect me not to kiss you... Among other things."

A shiver coursed through her.

Bella had gone out and got a few new pieces for her wardrobe as many of her things were falling off or getting too baggy. She hadn't bought too much, but she had never been so happy to go clothes shopping.

"Later," she promised just before the waiter came to the table.

"Ill have the steak please," Edward said after the waiter asked what they wanted.

In truth Bella didn't want to eat anything.

Even if she was hungry.

"The chicken salad please. But no dressing."

* * *

 **A/N: So sorry for the late updates, my wifi decided to die, but now has been resurrected lol.**

 **Thank you everyone for leaving reviews, love you guys!**

 **And finally, I hope you all had an amazingly spooky Halloween!**


	85. Chapter 85

"Bella?"

"Yeah handsome."

"I didn't want to bring it up yesterday at the restaurant but I had noticed you didnt really eat your salad, and you skip breakfast and you hard;y touch you're dinner. You're not doing anything stupid are you?" He said it so quietly, so hestiantly, that she might not have heard him.

"No." _Lie_. "I promise." _Lie_. "I eat breakfast on the way to work and have a big lunch." _Lie._

 _Lie, lie, lie._

 _Please believe me._

"Are... Okay beautiful."


	86. Chapter 86

"Hey what are you doing?"

"Packing to... Go home." She whispered.

"Oh." He looked as though she had slapped him.

"The week is over and I didn't want you to have to put up with my hair clogging the drain anymore. Or leaving my socks around everywhere." Bella attempted at humour but neither of them laughed.

"You dont have to go. I'd - I'd like it if you stayed."

"Stayed? But for how long?"

"Well I can't predict the future, but maybe forever."

And though logically she knew she shouldn't say yes because they hadn't known each that long, and she had secrets that she didnt want him to know, she wanted to.

"Yes. Yes! Forever."

Bella threw herself at him and poured her soul into the kiss she gave him.


	87. Chapter 87

Bella had gone to Renee's after her day of work, Edward did want to come and help her, but he had to stay at his office late.

"So you're alive," Renee sneered in greeing.

"Hi mom."

"Where's thats boyfriend of yours? He was so rude Bella, I don't like him."

"Well ... I've come to get my stuff. I'm- moving in with him."

"Ha, he'll get sick and tired of you soon enough. He might not be anything special, but he'll soon realise what a big fat faliure you are."

Bella got a few boxes from her room, and left the house as quick as possible.

Renee was right though, it didn't matter what she did, she'd never deserve Edward.


	88. Chapter 88

"Bella!"

"Esme?"

Bella was shocked to see Edward's mother climb out of a car and walk towards her.

"Edward said you needed some help and I have the day off!" Esme smiled, taking a box from Bella.

"Thank you, so much."

Together, they walked to Esme's car, putting her things in the backseat.

"You look upset. What's the matter, dear?"

"N-Nothing."

"Why don't we go out for coffee and you can tell exactly what isn't wrong with you." Esme gave her the look, that all parents had mastered, as to say 'don't lie to me.'


	89. Chapter 89

"Start talking." Esme said before taking a sip of her coffee in _Starbucks_.

Bella shied under Esme's demanding - but soft - tone.

"Well… It's my mom. We don't really get on. I guess I'm just not the daughter she wanted." Bella blurted. It was easy to talk to Esme.

"Oh Bella. In her way, I'm sure she loves you. But even parents screw up. The amount of times I dropped my poor son on his head as a baby, I'm surprised he hasn't got a dent in his skull; but I'm glad that I get to call you my daughter, even if it isn't official… Yet." Esme winked.

Bella blushed and drunk her warm coffee, trying to hide her red cheeks.

"You don't know how much your words mean to me… Thank you. And for making me feel like apart of this family."

Esme shook her head.

"You are."


	90. Chapter 90

**Snapshot: EPOV**

* * *

 _Bella_

 **Edward**

* * *

He couldn't believe she had said yes, even he could be insecure; and they hadn't been dating that long, he expected some hesitation. Maybe he could've waited longer, but he loved her, and didn't want to imagine a future without her present.

Even if she had been acting odd lately.

She had lost weight rapidly and didn't appear to have much of an appetite, however, Edward didn't want to say anything and increase her insecurities.

Maybe he could love her enough for both of them.

But with a sigh, he knew he couldn't, that wasn't anyway to live.

 _I'll talk to her again, tonight._ He said to himself knowing that he wouldn't.

Edward messaged his beautiful girlfriend: **What do you want for dinner tonight? Xx**

 _I'll cook you anything you want, but I'm not really hungry xx_

* * *

 **A/N: l know it's so repetitive to say thank you, but you guys make me smile :)**


	91. Chapter 91

"I'm nervous to meet your family," Edward said before starting up the car.

"Don't worry. They're going to love you like I do."

He pressed a chaste kiss to her lips and they were on their way.

The house had been repainted Bella noticed as they parked in front of her childhood home.

After they had walked to the front door of the house, Edward had looked at Bella questioningly as she bent down and got the key out from under the mat.

"Is that safe?" Edward raised his brows.

"You'd think as the chief of police he would know better, but not my dad, Sue's going to kill him when she finds out."

"Hello?" Bella yelled as they walked into the warm house.

"Bella! Oh you must be Edward!" A Native American woman close to Esme's age walked in, with her arms stretched forward, pulling them both into a hug. Edward let out of a squeak of surprise.

"Hi," he said shyly.

"None of that! You're practically family! Come on, the boys are in the living room watching the TV."


	92. Chapter 92

Charlie and Seth Swan eyes snapped when all three came in the living room together. A shot gun was propped against Charlie's leg that he stroked slowly, making eye contact with Edward.

"Hello Sir. Hello Seth. It's nice to meet you both." Edward held out his hand as the two men stood up.

Charlie gave his hand for Edward to shake, squeezing it slightly, a warning that if he hurt his daughter, this was only a fraction of the pain he would receive. Seth gave him a pat on the back with just a bit too much force for it to be friendly.

"Edward." Charlie greeted.

"I guess it's nice to see you." Seth grunted.

"Oh for heavens sake! Enough testosterone boys, leave Edward alone. And Charlie you might be fooling everyone but not me. That is Seth's old water gun, put it away."

Charlie and Seth bowed their head chastised.

"Well now that's over, Edward I'll show you around." Bella dragged Edward away before her father and brother could embarrass her further.

* * *

 **A/N: Thank you guys for all your reviews! *Wipes brow like in cartoons***

 **While Edward, may, probably, maybe know what Bella is up to, he might not want to believe that she would do something like to herself. And don't worry, Renee will get what she deserves.**

 **See you later**

 **:)**


	93. Chapter 93

It was Bella's turn now.

After the initial tension between the men settled, an easy conversation fell on the Swan's dinning room table, of course embarrassing stories about Bella.

"I fell down the stairs and twisted my ankle; Charlie was at work, so my neighbour drove us to the hospital. Bella took little Seth to the nurse and asked if she could swap him with a girl and even though she didn't have the receipt, she was sick and tired of him breaking her toys!" Sue laughed.

"I'm sorry Seth I do love you. Now at least!" Bella giggled.

Edward chuckled and kissed her cheek.

"I don't think you do sis. And yeah it was me that beheaded your babies, not the cat!" Seth smirked.

"How could you do that to Stacey and Lacey?" Bella fell open in mock horror.

"Oh Edward you really don't know what you've gotten yourself into," Charlie chuckled.

"I think I do."

Bella fell in love with him all over again. He was so sweet.

"Its amazing how she can trip over thin air!"

Maybe not.

* * *

 **A/N: Men hehe**

 **Completely out of context, but I think this is the 1000000000000000000000th time I've watched Frozen. But I do love Olaf.**


	94. Chapter 94

"I really like Sue," Edward whispered to Bella as they lay in her childhood bed.

"She's amazing, if it was up to Charlie, the door would be open and you'd be bunking in with Seth," Bella replied, her hands going under his waistband, cupping him.

He groaned and kissed her cheek, "Bella no. If your dad hears us, I'm a very dead man…"

She ignored his warning, stroking him softly, teasing him.

"You're being a very bad girl Bella," he growled, yanking her hand off and rolling on top of her.

"But I thought you said no?" She asked smugly.

"I've reconsidered."


	95. Chapter 95

Bella had never been a diary – kind – of girl, but recently, in the past week or so, she had found one useful. She expressed how her mother made her feel, the stresses of work; the sweet things Edward would say and the annoying things too.

But mostly it was to keep track of what she did or didn't eat.

"Bella put your notebook away and come play! I'm beating your boyfriend's ass!" Seth yelled, his eyes on the TV and his fingers moving rapidly on the game controller.

"Seth! Language!" Sue scolded making Charlie chuckled.

Edward glanced at her questioningly to which she replied, "Lesson planning."

He nodded and smiled, obviously thinking nothing of it; the guilt hit her in waves, she didn't like lying, especially to him.

He wouldn't understand though how in control she felt, how good it made her feel to know that soon she was going to be perfect.


	96. Chapter 96

Edward opened the door to his apartment, leaving Bella holding their bags. They were both tired from their journey, leaving forks later than they had expected.

"Stupid lock," Edward grumbled to himself.

The door opened to a mess as Bella was still in the middle of unpacking and while she didn't have many possessions; what she did have was scattered on the floor.

"You're so messy." Edward teased.

"Shut up." She whispered, blushing.

She dropped the bag on the floor, telling herself that she would sort it out tomorrow, though of course knowing really Edward would. His OCD had kicked in since she had been living with him.


	97. Chapter 97

Bella caught her refection in the classroom window and almost shuddered.

Her cheeks were hallowed, her skin looked slightly grey and she had dark circles under her eyes.

She hadn't realised how ill she looked.

 _Maybe I'm coming down with a cold._

"Whoa there Bella! You look a bit unsteady on your feet," Angela said as Bella wobbled.

"I'm just a bit light-headed. Don't mind me."

"There's only thirty minutes left, why don't you go home? Get some rest."

Bella nodded and thanked Angela, hoping a nap would help her feel better.

* * *

 **A/N: Apologies for last chapter, I uploaded the unedited chapter so I re-posted it. I hope I did anyway.**

 **Okay guys, shizzle is going to hit the fan very, very soon. If I could I'd share my cookies with you lovely people, but lets be real, they're cookies and not intended for sharing :D**


	98. Chapter 98

"Hey beautiful, I didn't want to wake you, but I have some chicken soup for you," Edward murmured as she was jolted awake.

"Thanks handsome." Even if she wasn't on her diet, eating was the last thing on her mind, she had fierce cramps in her belly.

"I'm going to clean up and leave you to eat; I'll put your stuff _neatly_ in a corner. _Neatly_."

"I'll sort it out when I get up, okay, I get the point. Mr OCD." She teased.

"Are you okay, though beautiful?"

"Yeah, don't worry about me."

"Bella what the fuck is this?" Edward called out angrily from the other room.


	99. Chapter 99

Bella sat up quickly in the bed.

"What is what?" She whispered as he came barrelling in the bedroom.

"This." He held up her notebook.

"Edward that's private!"

"Look, it just fell open but that's beside the point. A glass of water on Tuesday? Fifty calories on Wednesday. A piece of chicken on Thursday. Bella what the fuck? Seriously what the fuck is this?" She had never heard Edward raise his voice like that.

"I-"

"You what? What could you possibly say that explain this? Because my mind has already jumped to the answer, Bella."

"I know you don't understand Edward, but I feel good. I'm not fat Bella anymore. I just want to feel confident and worthy of you."


	100. Chapter 100

"Good? You look terrible! God you look ill. Forget about your mom and even bullies. You don't think I've been bullied? Or my parents haven't said something that's upset me? Bella it's all in your head. It always has been."

"Edward…"

"I'm such an idiot. I should have said something. Of course I knew what you were doing. I just didn't want to believe it. Tell me I'm wrong. That I've misunderstood. Please."

"You're blowing this out of proportion." Bella avoided his question, because deep down she knew, she knew what she was doing was wrong.

"Then why hide? Why not tell me or even the people around your that your punishing yourself."

She met him with silence.

"I'm not going to watch you destroy yourself Bella. I love you too much for that. Do you know how responsible I feel? Because I feel like it was me that set this off. So you could be worthy of me."

"Please Edward, don't. No. I love you. Please." Bella cried, she could taste her tears as they dripped down from her eyes.

"I can't do this anymore. I think we need some space, so you can get better. Do - do you even want to get better?"


	101. Chapter 101

She wished she stopped him.

She wished she wasn't so messed up.

She wished for many things.

" _I'm going to Marcus's. Tell me when you're gone."_

His voice was as cold as ice, a sharp cutting blade, piercing her heart.

As Bella stood up from the bed, she let out a startled cry, her knees wobbled and she could feel herself falling to the floor.

Than everything went black.


	102. Chapter 102

"Edward," Bella crocked.

"Hi sweetie," soothed a voice that defiantly wasn't Edward.

Alice's face appeared before her.

"Where am I?"

"The hospital."

"What? Why?"

"You collapsed. The doctors won't tell us anything because we're not family. Edward found you. Bella I've never seen anyone so worried. You scared him. Us."

Bella clenched her eyes shut. "Where is he?"

"Outside, waiting for Em, Jazz and Rose."

* * *

 **A/N: Apologies for lack of updates yesterday, FF wouldn't let me upload because my relationship with technology is terrible. So four today, hope I'm kinda forgiven? :D (or at least forgive the smiley face named Bill)**

 **Also, I thank you all for reviews, favs and follows, the support means so much!**

 **See you guys soon!**


	103. Chapter 103

**A/N: While I have done research on these issues, I am not a healthcare professional of any sort, so I will skim over all things medical. If for whatever purpose you would like to know more, please do conduct your own research or talk to a healthcare professional. Also, Bella does not display all of the symptoms of her diagnosis.**

* * *

"Oh good! You're up. Hello Miss Swan I'm Dr. Banner. Would you like to talk in private…?" A middle aged man said gently as he came into the room.

Bella looked at Alice and bit her lip.

"It's okay I'll leave. I'm right outside okay sweetie," Alice smile before departing, probably to find Jasper.

"So Miss Swan, I have gathered some information from your boyfriend, but I think we've only scratched the surface. When you're ready, I'd like to hear it from you."

"Yes. Wait, why am I here? What's wrong with me."

"So you are here because you are severely dehydrated…"

" _Anorexia nervosa… you will need to see a dietician… therapy is something we strongly urge."_

"But I don't want that. I'm fine." Bella whispered after it had sunk in.

"Miss swan. I know you don't really think you're fine. Your organs will slowly shut down, your body is already in 'survival mode' and you will kill yourself."

* * *

 **A/N: Mixed review on Edward, he's devolped quite a few haters lol  
**


	104. Chapter 104

Bella's friends came in just as Dr. Banner left; Rose flung herself at Bella and hugged her hard, before sobbing. "It's the baby. I can't even watch an advert without crying."

Emmet just smiled at Bella, and pulled Rose close.

Jasper held Alice's hand as he made small talk with Bella, obviously trying not to upset the situation any further.

"Feelin' any better darlin'?"

Edward wasn't present.

When they eventually left, Bella was surprised to see Renee walk through the door.

"I couldn't come earlier, I was in a meeting. I'm surprised not to see Edward here." Her mother sneered.

"I don't think we're together anymore."

"I'm not surprised. I also suppose you want to move back; to think, I was making that room a gym."

"Are you being fucking serious. Do you even care that I'm laying here? In a hospital?" She snapped, her anger and sadness raging inside her.

"Excuse me –"

"No. I'm done listening to you talk. Do you know why I'm here? Because of you. You've tore me down all my life. Why couldn't you be a mom? Why? All I wanted was you to love me but, I guess someone as selfish and self - centred as you don't even know what that word means. I want you to leave. And I never want to see you ever again. Have a good life, _mom_."

* * *

 **A/N: Whose proud of Bella?!  
**

 **I would really hate to be Edward right now...  
**


	105. Chapter 105

Rose had offered Bella for her to stay at her place for a while once she was discharged, and she couldn't refuse. Her dad and Sue were also coming to visit and she didn't know how she was going to face them.

She had just packer her few things, and immediately started to cry. Her first meal, in she didn't know how long, didn't go down very well. Her mind didn't want it, but her body did. In the end she had managed to eat quarter of it.

Dr. Banner said she wasn't going to get better overnight.

And truthfully she didn't know if she wanted to get better.

Looking at herself in the toilet mirror, she still felt she could still loose more pounds, but she had never realised how bad and unhealthy she looked. Her skin was dry, her eyes dead and the colour of her skin was paper white.

So many things were falling apart and breaking.

As much as she blamed Renee, she knew it was just her fault too.

So she was going to try.


	106. Chapter 106

"Bella?" Her head snapped up at his voice as she walked out the toilet.

"Hi." She replied.

"Hey."

"Bella the other night, I shouldn't have left that like I did. I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry too. But it doesn't really change anything does it?"

"No."

"That broke me Edward, when you walked away. Maybe you're right though. I need to get better. If not for me, then for the people I love."

He let out a gust of air. "You need to get better for yourself… Bella I – I came in when you were sleeping. I never left. I want you to know that."

"I know you love me. And I know what I've put you through."

"It shouldn't have mattered. What kind of man am I to just run away? I was so scared, and I don't understand Bella. I really don't. I tried, so hard to…"

"Space. I think we need some space. Because right now this is too much." She finished for him, and her heart broke all over again.

It was silent for a moment, the noise of the hospital disappeared.

"Well I'm here." _When you forgive me,_ she knew he wanted to say.

 _Forgive me too._


	107. Chapter 107

"What were you thinking Bella?!" Charlie shouted.

Wisely, Emmet and Rose had gone out quickly to get 'errands' when Bella's family knocked on their door.

Bella sat cowering on the couch, with Sue hugging her from the side. Her father rarely scared her, but the look on his eyes was something that she couldn't forget.

"Charlie. Please calm down," Sue urged.

"No Sue. This is serious. My only daughter... Would do something so stupid. And I want her to tell me the truth, I don't care if you're an adult; but where was your mom through this?"

Sue spoke before Bella could, "I know it's serious. But shouting and yelling isn't going to do anything. And you're right, she is an adult, you can't blame Renee."

Truthfully Sue didn't like Renee, she was rude with a sharp tongue; but Sue was a kind person, who tried to see the good in everyone.

"Dad, I'm not talking to her. I don't want anything to do with her..." With a deep breath Bella told them about her mother, starting with her arrival in the hospital and the cruel, venomous words she spat at her daughter, even as a child.

Her father stoof their in shock, his face pale and his fists clenched.

"Oh honey," Sue whispered, her voice breaking, "How could you not have told us? I know you lived with us, but she was still a big part of your life. We would have believed you. It's abuse Bella, what she did to you and you need to recognise that... Why don't you come home for a couple of days?"

"I'd like that."

* * *

 **A/N: If I was Edward, I'd run far away, from you lot lol. They both did bad things and now it's out in the open, they can slowly start to heal. Edward isn't a bad guy (don't hate me ;D) he's just clueless and handled things wrongly.**

 **Thanks for your reviewing, they all make my day, and I shall see you tomorrow!**


	108. Chapter 108

Bella had taken up Sue's offer; she would be gone for the weekend and would return to work on Tuesday. Monday she would have her appointment with the dietician and didn't think she could handle work as well.

The ride to Forks was tense, though that settled when she walked into the warm house, where everyone felt safe.

Sue babied her, Seth wouldn't let her out of his sight and Charlie once calmed down, reassured her time and time again that everything was going to be okay. By the time Sunday rolled around, Bella realised something important.

She was loved; it didn't matter if she was a size 2 or a size 30 to her family and friends. She was still Bella.

So she bought that pack of Doritos, even though she couldn't eat all of them, food was never the enemy. She was.


	109. Chapter 109

Bella sat anxiously in the waiting room. While Rose, Alice and even the guys had offered their support, Bella decided it was best to go alone. She needed to do this, to be new person; someone confident and she needed to start somewhere.

"Miss Swan. The doctor will see you now in room two."

Walking to the room, she took a deep breath and walked inside.

"Hi there. Please take a seat, I'm Dr. Baker, please don't look so nervous, I don't bite." The young female doctor smiled.

"Hi." Bella tugged down her sleeves, stretching the fabric over her fists, and as directed took a seat.

"So let's start simple, what foods do you dislike?"

"Brussels sprouts?"

* * *

 **A** / **N: What can I say? You guys rock. I also hate sprouts with a passion. A very big passion, they look and taste all weird and gross.**


	110. Chapter 110

"Rose I can't eat it, I'm sorry," Bella whispered.

"Bella you have to try..."

"Are you kidding me? No one could eat this," Emmet cut in.

"Emmet I'm still trying!" Rose screeched dramatically, rubbing her small bump. "I've been researching these organic baby food recipes and I can't even cook microwave food properly!"

"Baby don't fret, how about I just take over with the cooking?"

Granted, Emmet didn't cook much better than Rosalie, but it was a big improvement to her burnt dinners.

"No! I want to be that mom that cooks the best food."

"Give up the dream baby… and pizza is on it's way," Emmet said, before disposing his and Bella's food.

Bella ate two and a half slices of pizza, under the watchful gaze of her friends; then she decided to have a nice relaxing bath before going back to work the next day.

"Bella!" Emmet called, "Edward's at the door for you!"

* * *

 **A/N: Rosalie is based off my sister, who struggles to put togther a pot noddle. Anyone had a really bad cooking disaster?**


	111. Chapter 111

_Edward?_

"Uh… I'm coming!" She hadn't seen him since the hospital, though he had sent her texts here and there, asking about her day.

"Hey bea… Bella." He greeted as she came to the door.

"Hey, what brings you here?"

"I wanted to know how your appointment went. I know that I could have called… I just wanted to see you."

"After my nerves calmed, it went pretty well. I'm happy with the food plan created for me. Dr Baker… my doctor said it's probably going to hard at first, and after a while I wont even need it." Bella had forgotten how easy it was to talk to him, and how much she missed him.

"That's good… I'm glad. I'm proud of you, if it does get hard you can always talk to me."

Edward didn't stay long; it was enough though, for Bella to realise this time he wasn't going to bolt when it got to tough.


	112. Chapter 112

"Miss swan! Maria put a crayon up her nose and she can't get it out!" Anna cried.

For a while, her mind was empty of all the wrong things, the antics of the children in her class had kept her on her toes.

Bella tried so hard not to laugh at Anna, and let herself be pulled by the five year old to her friend.

"I think it's touching my brain!" Maria yelled, clearly scared.

"Oh sweetie." _You'd need a brain for it to do that._ "Its okay, tilt your head up and I'll get it out." Maria was a very sweet little girl; she just wasn't the brightest bulb in the box.

"So how was your day?" Edward asked through the phone later that day.

"Ha…Oh god, one of the kids put a crayon up her nose."

After their combined laughter, there was a slight pause, then Edward murmured, "what are we doing Bella?"

"I don't know Edward."

* * *

 **A/N: Yep... Edward still isn't in anyone's good graces, but Bella is getting better.**


	113. Chapter 113

She loved Edward, but it wasn't that easy. She needed to fix herself before she could decide 'what they were doing.'

"So Bella, what would you like to talk about today. We can have your first session be as light or as deep as you like." Her therapist was a friendly Japanese man, not much older than herself. The room was white and green, the calm colours soothing her, which was the desired effect.

"Um I uh struggle with my self image. I think I'm too fat and because of that… I've done some stupid things."

"I see. How do you feel about yourself today?"

"I don't know. Okay I guess."

"You guess?"

I still feel and ugly. It's been hard eating but I'm trying."

"As long as you're trying, though if you ever feel like you can't handle it I would like you to call me. So when did you start feeling like this…."


	114. Chapter 114

Bella climbed into Alice's car, thankful that she had taken up her offer to come get her.

"Oh honey was it that bad?" Alice squeezed Bella's hand that was resting on her leg.

It was obvious that she had been crying.

"No! No it went good, it was just hard to talk about things."

"I know. I'm proud of you though I wish you would have said something earlier. You always were a bit distant and didn't like to go shopping, but I would never have guessed it was because of this…"

"I don't want you to blame yourself Alice. I also don't want anymore pity or babying. I'm going to be okay."

I don't pity you Bella. I'm worried for you, but you're right breathing down your neck is not going to help things. So, you fancy a Big Mac?"

"Oh god yes. I can't remember the last time I had McDonalds… I'm starving."

She had to admit, it did feel nice to say that and not feel ashamed she was hungry.


	115. Chapter 115

"Down it, down it," the voices of her friends chanted.

Bella tipped her head back and let the burn of the alcohol sting her throat.

Maybe it wasn't the smartest decision to go and get drunk but she needed to let loose, they all did. Rose and Emmet stuck to coke, though they were enjoying themselves. It was a quiet little bar and they had plans to leave by eleven.

It had been a long week; Edward had been in constant contact and even had offered to go therapy with her for support and a coffee after. She had agreed. Yes, she wanted to do this as much as she could on her own, but he was trying to be there for her.

"Shh don't tell Bella, but I think I threw up in her bag," Alice slurred to none other than Bella.

"I promise Alice," Bella giggled back.


	116. Chapter 116

She was never drinking again.

Why did she think it was a good idea?

"Bella! Bella! Wake up!" Emmet seemed to scream.

"Emmet shut up!"

"Bella your alarm has been going off for three minutes."

 _That's what that noise was!_

As she went to turn off the alarm, a notification popped on the screen from Edward: Bella? Are you okay? Why are you sending me pictures of your eyebrows? I'm kinda worried text back xx

Shit.

And was that vomit in her bag?


	117. Chapter 117

"Hey Edward, what are you doing here?" Bella asked, suprise evident on her face.

It was the end of the school day, Angela had gone home early and she was just finishing preparing for tomorrow.

"Was in the neighbourhood," he mumbled shyly.

"You were?" Bella furrowed her brows.

"No, but I have some coffee, I know from experience your hangovers are nasty."

"Thank you. You're so sweet."

He stayed for a while, helping her tidy up the children's mess, making her giggle and sigh with his silly behaviour.

It felt nice for the atmosphere to be light, like nothing happened at all.

When the classroom was sparkling, they both knew their time was up and the bubble had burst.

Edward placed a kiss on her forehead, "I'll see you tomorrow? Pick you up at five?"

He looked at her unsure of his actions and she simply bit her lip, causing him to grin.

"See you then, Edward."

* * *

 **A/N: See he's trying?**

 **Love you guys!**


	118. Chapter 118

Bella was nervous as she waited for Edward.

She missed him, and she hated sleeping alone. It was no question if she was still in love with him, she never stopped, she did however appericate their 'time apart.'

If you could call it that.

He had hurt her, but she had hurt him too. She knew that he was truly sorry, because she was too.

Only with a clearer head did she realise that she was cutting down her life, living in misery, just because she wasn't a size two. The problems people had with her image, namely her mother? That was their _problem_ , not hers.

She needed to move on with her life, not forgetting the past, just accepting it for what it was.

Gone.

Maybe she would fall off the wagon, maybe she wouldn't; time would only tell. He wouldn't run again, because nor would she, from her problems and from herself.

* * *

 **A/N: I think Bella is finally getting it!**


	119. Chapter 119

Bella and Edward made their way to the coffee shop around the corner, both ordering a latté after her session. She wasn't as upset as she was the first time, but Edward still pulled her in a comforting embrace.

"My Parents say hi by the way. I told them what was going on and after my mom yelled at me, they demanded I bring you for dinner."

"I would love to see them, your mom is amazing."

Edward looked deep in thought, and then took her hands.

"I know I've said this before, but I really do regret that night. I came back intentionally to beg for your forgiveness, and instead you was on the floor. That's when I realised that it wasn't something stupid and petty that you were doing, it was serious. You actually hated yourself. So I ran. I just couldn't handle it. It isn't an excuse but it's the truth. I was an idiot. The things I said… It's going to forever haunt me."

"Oh Edward…"

"Hi Bella! Hi Edward!" Tanya appeared and sat down at their table

Edward gave a meaningful glance at Bella before turning his attention on Tanya.

"Hey Tan, what you doing here?"

"To get coffee? Anyway sorry to interrupt, I just wanted to know if we could go out at five instead of six tomorrow?"


	120. Chapter 120

"Tanya it was nice to see you, but you'll have to excuse me." Bella mumbled as she stood up, rushing to the door.

"Bella wait!" She didn't, she carried on walking out the door, away from him; this time.

She felt his presence before hearing the sound of his DM's smacking against the pavement. He grabbed her arm and spun her around, backing her up against the wall softly.

"What's wrong? Where are you going?" His confusion was evident on his face.

"How could you Edward?" Bella's heart broke all over again.

"Could I what?"

"I know we're not together but to ask Tanya on a date…"

Unexpectedly, he laughed.

"It's not funny!"

"Oh it is, Tanya is more interested in you than me, she's a lesbian. I get she can be touchy feely, but she defiantly is not attracted to me, nor or I her."

"Oh."


	121. Chapter 121

"Yes, oh. Bella you're it for me. There's no one else and there never will be. So forgive me. Forgive my mistakes. Though, even if you don't want me like that anymore, I'll still never let you go again."

"If you forgive me. I shouldn't have done that you to either Edward, its unfair for you to take all the blame."

"I love you beautiful, there's nothing to forgive."

"I love you too Edward."

His eyes flickered to her lips, and his head descended.

She forgotten how good he tasted, the kiss started off sweet and tender, than desperate like he couldn't get enough of her, like he was afraid she was going to disappear.

"Come home." He breathed against her lips.

"Oh Bella you're already so wet." Edward pumped his fingers in and out her, as he rained kisses on her neck

"Yes, yes! I'm ready for you please."

He entered her slowly, savouring the feel of them together; it didn't take long for either of them to fall apart.

* * *

 **A/N: I just hope you guys can forgive him? :p**


	122. Chapter 122

**Snapshot: EPOV**

* * *

He breathed in the sent of her hair.

Home. Warmth. Love.

 _I was such an idiot._

 _A massive idiot._

 _I was so lucky to have a second chance._

His mom had given him an earful, and then pulled her crying son into a hug.

The thought of Bella's face, her words and her tears circled his mind, he didn't think he would ever forgive himself for making her cry.

It took him all of five seconds when he walked out the door to turn around. He could fix what was wrong, even if he didn't know how. It was too late though. There she lay on the floor, unmoving and pale.

 _This is my fault._

Little by little, he realised he couldn't burden the whole responsibility, he shouldn't have walked out, but she should have said something. Anything.

It didn't matter now though, it was done and the dust had settled.

All he knew that his whole world was in his arms, and he wouldn't let her go again.

"I love you," he breathed.

She took his chin into her hands, and lifted her eyes to meet hers.

"I know you do. I know. We're okay. We're going to be okay. I love you."

* * *

 **A/N: Sorry this is so late! An EPOV as requested. One more normal chapter, then a four part epilouge that will be posted all on Sunday.**

 **I thank everyone for leaving their reviews, Tanya was never a threat and to in order for them to move on, they had to forgive themselves as well as each other.**

 **Bye for now! :)**


	123. Chapter 123

Bella moved into Edward's place properly this time. It wasn't straight away; she stayed at Rosalie's for a couple more weeks, working solely on herself for those moments spent alone. But alas, by the end of week two, she spent more time at Edward's than anywhere else. It was the logical next step.

Eating was getting slightly easier. Bella and Edward had started to cook together, and a private goal for herself was eat something full of calories once a week.

Therapy was something Bella had started to look forward to, Edward had even joined her a few times.

Bella had spotted Renee a few times, the last time; Renee looked as though she was going to approach her, but Bella walked away. If she did want to apologise, it wasn't going to be in the middle of Target.

Not that she was holding her breath.

Rose had recently asked an astonished Bella If she would be her child's Godmother, she of course said yes; and cried like a baby.

"Bella!" Edward yelled from their bedroom, "Please stop leaving your socks everywhere!"

He said that more than 'I love you' and he said that phrase all the time.

* * *

 **A/N: Has anyone watched Mockingjay Part 2? OMG!**


	124. Chapter 124

_Four Years Later, Part One._

* * *

"Daddy!" A little voice squealed.

Bella watched as her husband picked up their newly three year old son Caleb; and threw him up into the air, causing him to giggle, his curly brown hair bouncing wildly.

Today, Caleb's birthday was being celebrated. Taking advantage of the nice Seattle weather, Bella had decided a BBQ was a good idea, instead of being stuck inside with hyper kids running everywhere.

She re-positioned little one year old Lincoln on her hip and continued to set things out, with her one had that was free, a skill that she had now mastered. Her bronze haired child nuzzled into her neck, signalling he was tired.

"Nana! Granddad!" Caleb yelled excitedly causing his brother to straighten up as her In - laws walked into the garden.

After Caleb's grandparents rained him with kisses and gave him one of his presents to open; Esme headed for Bella and took her other grandchild out of her arms, and Carlisle helped Edward start the BBQ, Caleb now interested in his new toy.

"He's tired, Esme, mind putting him down for me?"

"Of course not, dear! Come on sweetheart," Esme said to Bella, then cooed to the sleeping child.


	125. Chapter 125

_Four Years Later, Part Two._

* * *

By half past one, everyone had arrived.

Alice and Jasper looking sleep deprived, sat on the bench, rocking four month old Jackson. The delight on their face was evident though.

Emmet was trying to get the twins two – year old Logan and Clarissa to stop hitting each other; while Rosalie urged their eldest daughter, four – year old Margo to play with the other children. Rose was pregnant again and Alice joked she would end up with a _Von Trapp_ like family.

Charlie and Sue had moved to Seattle for their two children and grandchildren. Seth had attended the same College as his sister and stayed for his girlfriend Leah.

Even Tanya was there who Bella had actually grown close too, with her girlfriend Kate. Edward's other friends and their children were there as well.

The kids were all having fun, everyone was mingling, and Bella let out a sigh of contentment. She could never have predicted this of her life.

Rose walked over and winced, "Kicking up a storm this one."

Bella chuckled, "Lincoln was the laziest baby ever, I complained because he didn't move enough!"

"You trying to make me jealous, Bella?" Rose joked.


	126. Chapter 126

_Four Years Later, Part Three._

* * *

"…Happy birthday to you…" Everyone sang, out of time and key.

Caleb grinned at his parents beside him and blew out his candles. He didn't waste any time stuffing his face with cake, which Bella cut up in small pieces. His opened presents lay abandoned, wrapping paper everywhere.

Not too long after, the party ended.

Charlie and Sue took the birthday boy, and Esme and Carlisle took Lincoln giving the parents a much needed little break.

"Let's be naughty Bella and leave all this mess for tomorrow."

"Oh Edward, I love your dirty talk."

True to their word, they left the mess and like giggling teenagers, tore off their clothes; and made their way to the bedroom, loving each other for the first time in weeks.

Bella caught sight of herself in the bathroom mirror. She was right; _the mirror never did lie_ , because the happiness on her face reflected how she felt on the inside.

She had gained more stretch marks, she still hadn't lost the baby weight and her eating pattern was all over the place.

Bella still struggled with how she looked, and sometimes with the stress of being a mom, a wife and working full time; she almost slipped back into her old ways.

But it didn't matter. She had two beautiful children and a sexy husband that reminded her time and time again he didn't care about the wobbly and saggy parts of her. In face he loved them. He just loved her.


	127. Chapter 127

_Four Years Later, Part Four._

* * *

It had been a month a half since Caleb's birthday. Bella had just put her children to bed, though not without a fight and pulled up her shirt, examining her stomach.

"Baby what's wrong?" Edward asked, concerned as he walked through the living room door.

"You're back early handsome."

Edward had gone out for a drink after work.

"I'm getting old and I wanted to come home to you and the kids. I missed you all so much today. They're growing up so fast." A tipsy Edward was a very sappy Edward.

"Aw, I missed you too today. Anyway, do you think I've put on weight?"

A vey pained look crossed Edward's face.

"Bella you know you're perfect, you're not… are you?"

"I'm not going to lie and say I'm not hurt, but I do get it. No, I do think I'm pregnant though."

"Another baby, seriously? I thought you were on birth control? My sperm must have superpowers."

"Shut up you idiot. I was antibiotics for that throat infection; it messes with the birth control."

Eight months later, their third and last child, Hayley, came into the world screaming; with her father's hair and her mother's eyes.

The End.

* * *

 **A/N: I really am thankful that people enjoyed this story; I'm literally blown away at the response it had gotten. I had been reading on Fanfcition for years and finally plucked the nerve to post a story (and complete it!). So thank you again, I can't even begin to say how much it means to me.**

 **I think we can all agree that we've all felt like Bella at one point, whether it be about weight, or height or the size of our nostrils. So in the wise words of Amy Bloom, please remember:** "You are imperfect, permanently and inevitably flawed. And you are beautiful."

 **Take care,**

 **B**

 **xox**


	128. Chapter 128

Hey!

Sorry this isn't an update, but, this story has been nominated for the top ten fics completed in November!

I don't really know what else to say apart from thank you. So, just thank you. You guys are completely, amazingly awesome.

There are also other amazing stories, so go vote and check them out at: www . twifanfictionrecs . com

Have a good week!

Bye, bye for now :D


End file.
